Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
