we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
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Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
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I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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