she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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