In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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