Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
