u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Too much gin, very little bucket
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
