What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
