um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
