I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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