I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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