Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
