i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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