How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize