So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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