I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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