if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize