Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
