Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize