brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
