she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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