I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She's the barista slut.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
