I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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