I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
