Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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