yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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