friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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