it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
