should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
