So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
operation harelip BJ is a go
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
