I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize