that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
