you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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