perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
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It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
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Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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