talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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