Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Randomize
