Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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