all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Randomize
