How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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