actually, I'm a sock model
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
