It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
