Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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