awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
We had sex on a dog bed..
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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