I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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