how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
