3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm drive I can fine osifer
well you can't waste a boner
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
