The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
