I wannas sexs uuuuu
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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