He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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