I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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