she was so not down for the gang bang
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
