We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
we made out on top of his cat.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
