i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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