also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
