That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
