how hairy? two words: wookie tits
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
