Little spoons don't ask big questions
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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