This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
