I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Randomize
