The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
